SNOB /snäb/:
Oxford’s definition: a person with an exaggerated respect for high social position or wealth who seeks to associate with social superiors and looks down on those regarded as socially inferior.
That’s boring. Let’s get more creative.
My definition: a person who values his life, his time, and his energy & resources, realizes he has all the limitations of a homo sapiens, and thus chooses to use his life, time, and energy & resources only in wise, conscious ways.
I am a snob. Are you? You should be.
How I became a snob
I’ve always been a scattered mess – the type with a messy work desk, who cranks her head sideways trying to read her own handwriting, looks for her phone while she’s on it, changes clothes five times before leaving the house, only to return two more times in a panic for the car keys, replying to messages along the highway, and finally arrives into her destination just 30 seconds before fashionably late becomes unfashionable.
Pheww…
Admittedly, there is something exciting and challenging about this lifestyle, but living like this every day, everywhere you go, with everything you do, is exhausting and simply masochistic. And it seems like it’s only about time, doesn’t it?
But when I looked closer, to the cause of this daily madness, I saw clutter. Clutter not just of physical belongings, but clutter of schedule, clutter of information, clutter of people, clutter of ideas. It was letting too much ‘stuff’ – in every sense of the word – into my life without discernment. It was packing my evenings and weekends with people I didn’t feel like seeing, having conversations I didn’t want to have at happy hours I wasn’t happy at, spending money on things that didn’t make me feel absolutely badass, consuming needless information, and (important!) giving every emotion the right to take over at any point, amongst other things.
Bottom line: I wasn’t being enough of a snob about the things I let into my life. And this lack of snobbery adds up in a million tiny ways and causes you to live a life you never consciously chose.
I was first introduced to a simple but profound ‘you should fill your life with things you actually like’ concept by Marie Kondo in The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up. The whole book rests on the premise ‘does it spark joy?’ She suggests you hold every single one of your belongings in your hand and ask that question. If yes, it stays. If not, it goes. At first, this sounded too hippy for me, but after I gave it a fair chance, about 60% of my belongings went out.
The light unburdened feeling I felt after this clear out was unmatched. And I realized I needed to start being more of a snob in everything – not just things – and to consciously ask whether I want or need this thing, this person, this activity, this meeting, this information, this food, this commitment, in my life.
Perhaps we’d benefit from thinking more ‘why’ and less ‘why not.’ Your time, energy, and attention are limited – that’s why not. So why should I give this thing/person/idea room in my life? Do I have a good answer? ‘Why not’ is passive – life happens to you. ‘Why’ is active – you choose what happens.
Snob questions to start with: Do I actually want this? and Does it have to be done?
Start with those questions. Doesn’t matter what it’s about – could be the shirt you’re about to drop fifty euro on, the task you’re about to crush at work, the booty call you’re about to answer in the affirmative or the lunch with a friend that you’re about to squeeze into your schedule.
Start with one single area that makes the most sense to you, and cut down, replace, and renew. And see what happens. Start being snobby in areas you never thought of – minimalism isn’t just about things.
Do I actually want this? Does it have to be done? Of course, there are exceptions and yes, there are many corollaries and addendums in the snob manifesto, but those two questions are a damn good start.
This doesn’t mean giving yourself the green light to be lazy, be cheap, or be a jerk. No. Do the projects you know have to get done, keep giving your family members/relatives a ride to the airport, be there for your crying friend even when it’s inconvenient for you, etc. Like…keep being a half-decent human. But choose everything with a little more discernment.
If something sounds arrogant about what you’ve read so far, I understand. I am a snob, after all. But I am not suggesting which things, people, and activities you should seal with the snob-stamp. That’s for you to choose. But the point is – do choose. You deserve to choose.
Wishing you a snobbish weekend ahead!
Yours Truly,
The BizandLove Lady!